books galore!

Just found myself another reason to go book-shopping again. Tee hee hee... It turns out that I have another exam to study for (and I really mean STUDY!). And while I was looking through these terms in English literature, I just thought to myself: So today they'd probably be asking for the definition for something like "limerick" and it turns out that this is a fairly new term, which only dates back to the late 19th century. Hmm. If our current pop culture would survive a century or two, in the future would the question look a bit like this:

Define dubstep.

Definition by AllMusic: "...tightly coiled productions with overwhelming bass lines and reverberant drum patterns, clipped samples, and occasional vocals."

Definition by most people: Bass drops and goes wub wub wub then seizures all around.

Listening to: "All I Need" by Within Temptation

Reading: "A World Without Islam"by Graham E. Fuller

Watching: cooking shows

Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: ...

Guess who got bored today?

I'm out of white paint so I decided to try my hand at drawing with pens this time. Only one color though, because I'm too thrifty to get several colored pens.

Unawakened

Might scan the original and put it to good use. Or not. I don't know, depends on the situation I guess.

Oh, and I just realized that I prefer listening to Eminem when I paint/draw/sketch.

Listening to: "Sing for the Moment" by Eminem

Reading: "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski

Watching: random concert clips 

Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: alkaline water

Despite the weather

Been sick for a few days and now I'm starting to get the sniffles. However so, I managed to get these done. I painted these at night because that is when everything calms down.

Mist

Breathe

I need a hug...

Listening to: "Brave" by Sara Bareilles 

Reading: "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski

Watching: paint dry
Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: alkaline water

Updates!

"Journey's End"

  

Okay, cheesy title or whatever you wanna call it, the title stays. But I apologize for the horrid quality. The camera completely ruined the colours and I'm too lazy to use/check on my scanner. Heck, my mom and sister could not even tell what it is when I showed this image to them. But then when I handed them the actual painting, they were like: "Ooh, that's what it is!"

Anyway, this is suppose to accompany the final stanza of one of my poems, "Amaya." 

"As the stranger's journey came to a closing

A warm light slowly came flooding

The beams against her trails complementing

Shadows disappearing, the traveler, too, dissolving

The bloody-like clouds seemed burning

No sooner they would turn cool and calming

All the while as she was vanishing

She made a promise of soon returning"

I love this one the most because it has a sort of special bond with me. Not only I wrote it within one night and recited it in public the next day, but I feel like there is something very personal, though universal, in those lines. Like I can find something to relate myself with everyone else.

So I'm going to do my best for this, despite being a side-project. I want to do it properly. Hopefully I can share it with as many people as I could.

Listening to: people talking
Reading: a bunch of books

Watching: paint dry
Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: alkaline water

Not so bad!

The examination that is. Turns out it's just like a 2-hour and 45-minute writing marathon. I've sat through longer exams before. Even up to 3 hours, no joke. However, it could have been nice to be able to get up once in a while because it was freezing in there for the first hour and a half.

I am sure that anyone would guess where I ran to after the invigilators told us that we could leave.

Anyway, it was quite a challenge since we had three papers one after the other but it was really comfortable in the exam hall (it was held in a hotel ballroom, and yes I have to admit that it's a first-time experience for me when usually I get a dusty classroom or a huge echoing hall).

Anyway, I have 12 days to wait for the results to come out. I am a bit nervous, especially for the Writing paper. Oh well, all I can do now is pray for the best!

Listening to: "What About Now" by Daughtry
Reading: "Gadsby" by Ernest Vincent Wright
Watching: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"(1937)
Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: ...

Uninvited guests

The sound of claws scraping against the rough surface, just like every night. The hours of which they could be heard would be earlier or later in the evening – brief seconds or prolonged moments – but they will be there without fail. Somewhere deep in my dark mind, I saw them crawling on the floor of which would be my ceiling. 

Craving for attention now, are we? So late at night and yet still so “lively.”I would beg for you to leave, dear nocturnal intruder, though it is not of my nature to succumb to fear of the night.

Once the scraping noises disappeared, I sighed in relief. Just like every night before, it will be gone in an instant so then I could continue my interrupted dreams. Until then...

...damn squirrels!

Listening to: "Who's They" by Daughtry
Reading: "Gadsby" by Ernest Vincent Wright
Watching: ...
Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: alkaline water

Of old fears and newfound addiction

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Title-changing Jinx

It is a major problem for me. Mainly because every time I decide to change titles, I tend to over-think, thus leading me to lose interest in whatever I was writing before immediately.

So, no more. I am just going to stick with the name Project L.C. for now at least until I can get the first draft done.

I need a bigger table. My pinkie and ring fingers are going numb, AGAIN because - the doctor said - the space I have now is too cramped for me to spread my elbows properly.

But, hey, a writer has to start somewhere right? I have been using this same, very small space to write for the past 3 years and I would have to say that the results were more than satisfactory. Or that could be the reason why I have tennis elbow in the first place?

...

Will ponder about this later.

Listening to: "BulletproofAngel" by Goo Goo Dolls
Reading: "Everyone Loves a Good Train Wreck: Why We Can't Look Away" by Eric G. Wilson
Watching: "Castle" (Season 5)
Playing: ...
Eating: ..need...breakfast...
Drinking: alkaline water

"Organized mess" - that's what it was.

Never save what you can do today for tomorrow. 

Or in other words:

Never save your documents in one place, instead e-mail it to yourself, make use of those online storage websites.

Yeap, but nope. My recent works are gone. Down the electronic drain. Disintegrated into nothingness. Poof!
And I can't blame anyone else but myself. I had to reformat my laptop last week at the cost of my latest works. Well, I can't really call them "works", more like jumbled up pieces of what would be something worth calling that. When I put it that way, I become thankful that my baby decided to throw a tantrum and made me clear everything up in her system. Now I don't have to look at those pieces guiltily and I could start again.

Good news, I don't have to start from scratch because I have some of the first drafts written down on paper before I rewrote them on the computer. They're not much but I can work with this. Most of them are from before I tried to imitate some of my favourite writers. I lost my way with insecurity and even though I kept telling myself that I should just let go of things that are not mine (concerning more than one thing in my life), my desires spoke of dreams that were already claimed and realized by someone else.
But they were not mine.

So now whether I like it or not, I have to let go and move on. With these scraps of paper, I shall mold the story back together. Only this time, I will make it mine.

Listening to: "Everything But Me" by Daughtry
Reading: "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski
Watching: "Hyōka" (TV)
Playing: ...
Eating: ...
Drinking: alkaline water

I'm Only Human

I can only take so much.

-->

There are two reasons that would make one cry: the first is to not being able to do what he or she wanted, and the second is to not being able to figure out what to do. However there would come a time, a rare point in one's life that would probably be the turning point of his or her life, when these two factors would collide thus leading to a time when one would have to decide on what to do next. This would then decide what would happen next in their lives. Would they be able to follow their dreams or otherwise. 

I am currently at that point. 

Announcements..

..for anyone who cares. Those who don't have the right to shut up.

After a whirlwind of projects and reports, I'm finally here on this day feeling...
..happy. Yes, I am happy. And it's all God's blessings upon this soul.
However it would be simple-minded of me to think that the struggle is over. I'm still far from it.

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for (or at least what I've been waiting for), a preview of an upcoming project. A solo project by yours truly.

Yes I intentionally made it blurry (...liar~!...). Hopefully everything will turn out well, insya Allah.

P.S.: I forgot the dates of those poems (cuz I'm lazy when it comes to details), so some of them are really old while others are quite recent.

Listening to: "What About Now" (acoustic version) by Daughtry
Reading: "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World" by Haruki Murakami
Watching: "Fight Club"
Playing: ...
Eating: ...nope, not yet..starving though..
Drinking: H2O! (no, really, it's good for you)

Of sleep and submission dates

It is a ritual to have all hell break loose nearing the end of a semester, especially this final one. Sleep becomes something optional and everyone wouldn't have time for anything else besides from completing assignments.

So why are you doing this Zue? Shouldn't you be writing your final paper?

Yes, I should, and I am. This is just a process of letting out random thoughts so that I can organize the ones I need later. This way, I could just rant all I want and if I find something that may be useful, I take it!

I got a lot of assignments to do still, and what I'm doing is that I jump from one assignment to the other. In the end, my weekend is spent with half-done assignments and none of them are ready for submission yet. I did this because I find it hard to focus on one at a time, which is not a healthy way of multitasking. This is actually quite dangerous and I almost got into trouble for not completing my assignments on time because I wasn't focused on one. I had to be the greedy one to do 2-3 reports at one time.

Story of my life.

Anyway, I think this would be enough rants for the time being. Need to go back to reconstructing my third story.

Wheeee~!

Listening to: "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by The Offspring
Reading: "Laskar Pelangi" by Andrea Hirata
Watching: "Another"
Playing: I want "Silent Hill"!!!
Eating: Wholemeal croissant
Drinking: Water laa..

Blessing in Disguise

Okay, the pitching session WAS supposed to be on last Friday. But due to the number of students who had to present (there were a LOT of people, surprisingly), I had to reschedule my session to next week.

I had to admit that I was slightly frustrated because I did not sleep for two days straight just to perfect the proposal, but when I think about it, I'm glad. It was still FAR from perfect.

And I just hate defending something that I am not really passionate about.

So wish me luck again people!

Cheers!

Final Project Rant

It's finally my senior year! Yeay!

Which means it's time for our final project! Nooooooo~!

Well...

...we were given the chance to either choose a thesis or do a project with a mini-thesis. And as usual, I do not want to be doing what everyone is doing, so decided on doing a project.

And as a writer, I have to write laa.. Duh.

Oh wait, it's not that simple. There's a twist to this tale!

I am down with art-block and something I call scrap-happy (you know, like the term "trigger-happy") because I get so picky that I reject most of my own ideas.

I have even submitted one proposal and I scrapped that even though my lecturer told me it was okay to proceed with that one.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. Tee-hee~!

What am I supposed to do? I have never had art-blocks for this long. I mean, I have been researching and scrapping for WEEKS.

Boo hoo hoo...

Oh well, back to the books. Gotta stay away from the internet as much as I could for now. Pray that I can get this sorted out.

Another year coming to a close

Yes ladies and gents, 2010 is coming to an end while 2011 is on its way (insya Allah). There were a lot of things that happened throughout 2010. Some were good, some not so. But I must say that I've been the happiest and saddest in this year.

There were things I did that I'm not too proud of. So I'm hoping that 2011 is a year that would bring new hope to be better. I'm highly aware of my support-meter from "certain" people, and it's not something to brag about. But hey, I've got to do this. I have to do my best to get to where I want to be.

My new year resolutions for 2011 is a bit different from the years before. Maybe it was because I lost myself for too long and now I don't only have to move forward, but I have to recollect the bits and pieces of my life that I pushed away.

The past, as much as I would like to forget about them, is something that we shouldn't forget. Sure, they say that we have to forget the past to get over a bad experience. But an experience would still be an experience; good or bad. We all learn from mistakes and we want to do better with our lives.

Live without regrets!

The Awaited Day

I have been waiting for this day for months! And I really hope to God that I could do well in college.
I'm a nervous wreck right now! I even repacked twice because of this!

I may be very busy starting next week, but I think that I might have another blog for college updates. Plus, since the course that I'll be taking is Artistic Writing, guess what I'll be doing a lot in the future?

Besides that, I would like to say to those who have been worried about me all this time; "Thank you for all your help. It's alright now. This is my own decision. I'll try harder this time."
But please, do not question me about my choice. I've gone through sleepless nights to think this through, and I've decided.
May this be my terminus a quo...

Updates! Finally...

I am going to be taking Artistic Writing this December! Woo hoo!
You have no idea how happy I am right now!

Things are now falling...

...into place! Alright, here's the deal:

- I have an interview this coming Monday, so wish me luck!
- the course is not my first choice, but I am more than willing to accept it.
- but I still won't tell what it is yet, sorry!

I might have some problems explaining myself to everyone later, I know that I had trouble talking to my parents about it. But if I can finish my analysis for the upcoming interview, I am sure that I can do well in it.

I promise that I would announce EVERYTHING after it's all settled. And I can assure you that it won't be that big of a surprise to everyone. You can probably guess what I will be taking.

Okay now, I have a wedding to attend to. After that, I have to continue with my analysis. Ciao!

Hey, new blog title!

Yeah, I decided to change the blog title. The old one was getting, well, old. Anyways, the original idea of the new title was simply "The Starting Point", which is what "terminus a quo" means. I kinda thought that it sounded more complex than the former. And it made me dash for the dictionary, so I think that's a good thing.

Anyways, I'm still not going to announce anything yet. I'm, more or less, a superstitious person. So, I better not count 'em chickens yet. But I promise that I will post a really long explanation AFTER I have confirmed on this thing.

So, wish me luck! Hopefully this will be my terminus a quo!

P.S.: I didn't post anything for a while coz I have no idea what to write about!

My guitar string broke!

My e string broke! Bummer!
I was practicing "Lucky" (Jason Mraz's Lucky) and suddenly it went twing! I was so shocked that it took me about 5 seconds to realize that it broke.
I have to replace it before my next class. Dad's gonna kill me!